Bittersweet

It is time to start a new school year.
I am not a parent sending a kid off to kindergarten or high school or college.  I am not a teacher arranging my classroom as I prepare for fresh faces.
I am a substitute.  Last year I long-term subbed for one teacher for about 7 months. So, Today is bittersweet because I am a teacher, just one without a room of my own.  I will miss my school family.  I will make the best of being in a different room every day, but I will know that my heart is in the classroom I called my own last year and with the kids who I will be missing.

Some Days Are Easy... Some...

I spent some time this morning thinking about a friend who has been battling cancer for a long time. We aren't close, more acquaintances than anything. But what she doesn't know is that her journey is important to me. You may wonder why. How can the battle of one acquaintance make an impact on me?

Last year I got the news that three people I knew had cancer. I have known others in my life who have had cancer, but this was the first time I felt close to it. 

First, my friend Jon Stegen. He was a college friend whom I hadn't talked to since college. When we were there though, he was someone I liked and always considered him a good friend even though we weren't best buds. He had a biting sense of humor, but was kind under it. Jon married his college sweetheart and they had two beautiful children. Then last year, around February if I recall correctly, he found out he had cancer in his appendix. Jon fought hard am his family fought beside him. My husband and I traveled across the state to attend a Trivia night fundraiser for Jon. It has to be one of the most heartwarming things I have ever seen. I do not exaggerate when I say hundreds of people who knew Jon were there to support him. My friends and I sat at a table together and had a great time reconnecting and celebrating life. At the end of the night Jon and his wife, Jess, came in to thank everyone. The feeling inside was tremendous as I hoped this family would have the chance they deserved to be together. Jon fought hard, but in the end, he left earth behind for something else. His amazing wife has since built a foundation in his honor. 

In April came he second bout of bad news. My husband's mother had lung cancer. It had already advanced to stage 4, so the prognosis was gloomy. Though this was the case, Susie wasn't going to just let go. There was a lot of discussion about how long she should fight for herself versus fighting for the sake of the family. My sister-in-law moved home in the summer so that she could be with their mom. My husband prioritized seeing her weekly. We went over on Sundays to play games just as he and Susie had done when his grandmother was ill. Frequently, mahjong was the game of choice. If you haven't played, you should try it! (The real game, not Internet matching games!) Susie's sisters and other family came to visit, making the months full and busy. Susie an her husband John went on a cruise- one of their favorite past times. Each time Susie had a checkup the news was disheartening. Enlarged tumors, spreading,and so on. I watched my husband struggle with his mom's illness. I felt so helpless. I also felt on the outside as he and his sister comforted one another. I only say this because I wanted to be what he needed, but sometimes people just need someone who truly is in the same place they are. He was lucky to have his sister here for him.  Thanksgiving was hard, as we visited Susie and she was awake for only a few minutes here or there. She looked absolutely tiny in her hospital bed in the living room. The next week Susie passed away. All the positivity I had tried to hold on to just drained away. My husband was close to his mother- she was the parent who raises him. She was the one who taught him how to be a good person. After Susie's funeral the family gathered for a night of games. We had a wonderful time together. We played mahjong, we ate copious amounts of food, and we celebrated Susie. 

In August last year I met Rayleen. I was subbing for her off and on and met her just a few times. One day I went to her classroom to ask about a day she needed me and found her crying. I think she was embarrassed that I caught her at that very moment. She brushed it aside, saying little, but mentioned something about a doctor's call. The next week I was called to cover her class indefinitely because she would be out fighting cancer. Rayleen's cancer was also in the appendix. It struck me hard as I knew Jon was fighting the same thing. I met with her to talk about taking over her classroom, at the time thinking it would from October until December. Rayleen told me this was her second round with this cancer. She was determined to fight it again. I told her about Jon and my mother-in-law. Over the next several months I tried to check in on Rayleen periodically. I gave her updates on school and had kids email her and make cards. In December she decided she would have to stay out until at least the beginning of March, so I stayed on in her place, eventually staying through the end of the school year. Her journey has continued and she has had additional surgeries since then to try to rid her body of this disease. 

So you see, even though I barely know Rayleen, her journey is important to me. Last year I had three people in my life who had cancer. Now I have one. Though I don't know her well and though I probably don't register in her mind at all, I pray for her to beat cancer. I hope as hard as I can that her husband and son don't lose her. I pray that her doctors are as hopeful and as prayerful as her family and friends. I pray that she is able to give others hope as they see her beat the odds.

Bloggity Blogger

Sometimes I wonder if I should be giving this blog a theme and sticking to it.  But then I think about how I am rather eclectic and not sure that I could go with one thing.
Here are some of the things I could theme my blog around:
*DIYs (hmm... except I don't know if I do enough of these)
*Living Gluten Free (well, this may not be forever)
*Baking (not really doing much of this since I'm trying to lose weight)
*Weight-Loss Journey (also known as life in general)
*Book Reviews (I read non-stop, this could actually work)
*Librarian Life (I am in school to be a librarian, so no actual material yet)
*Photography (I love photography!)

So, you can see that I have a lot of ideas- none of which add up to much on their own.

How do blogs get to be popular anyway?  Is it because they have one solid theme?  I think it is because the voices behind them make a connection to a large audience.  The thing I find crazy though is the wild popularity that some have been met with- being given book deals and speaking engagements.

I guess I will continue writing about whatever is on my mind on any given day.  Until next time, I hope you all enjoy being eclectic too!

DIY- Jeans into Bell Bottoms

This weekend my friend had a 70s themed birthday party.  I shopped extensively to find just the right outfit.  Sadly, there wasn't a lot to be found.  Of course, I managed to find clothes for my husband, but it seemed like the ladies options were fewer and further between.

So, I made the decision that I would just make my own!  I went to Jo-Ann's and found some great fabric.  I was determined to make jeans into bell bottoms and to make a matching shirt.  I am not one to use a pattern- they make me crazy. Instead I looked at various DIYs online and came up with a hybrid mix of these to suit my needs.

I found some cheap jeans at a thrift store- this particular pair began their life as skinny jeans.
The first step was to rip out the outside seams up to the knee- about 20 inches, depending on the length of jeans you have.  I also ripped out the hem as well- this was so I could hem the added bell fabric to match the pant hem exactly.  In this case it also lengthened the jeans a bit.  The seam ripping was only difficult in that there were three sets of stitches in this seam, so it took more time than anticipated to get through all of the stitches!

The next step was to cut the fabric to insert into my open seam.  I measured the opening on my jeans- 20 inches.  I decided to cut the fabric longer to make sure I had plenty of fabric.  I cut a triangle 24 inches long with the top being about 2 inches wide and the bottom being 10 inches wide.
The fabric I chose was a little on the floppy side which gave me reason to question if the leg would just fold in on itself making the bell disappear.  To avoid this, I used a fairly stiff interfacing on my fabric- cut to the same size as my triangle.

Once I had these two fabrics fused together I turned the jeans inside out and pinned the pants and fabric together.  All that was left was to sew!  I went up each side and then made small adjustments at the top of the triangle to try to make sure there wasn't a pucker at the top.  This is just something you have to fiddle with.  Some people hand stitch this part, but I was able to do a pretty good job with the machine.
Lastly, I put a hem back in the bottom of the jeans.  I chose to leave them a little longer so that I could wear them with taller wedges.

I don't have a picture with them on- I forgot!  But I will post one one I have a chance to put them on again.

I also made a shirt- actually 2 shirts.  The first one I made from a pattern- it turned out super cute, but was snugger than what I prefer.  Since I wanted to have a good time I decided to make a second shirt.  This time I avoided pattern usage.  I cut out a square of fabric and worked it into a halter top with the help of my mother!  With a little elastic, a couple of darts, and some ingenuity, I had a shirt!

It's Been One Week Since You Looked At Me...

I am claiming one week gluten-free even though it is really only six days.  Can I just tell you that this has been the worst week to make this change!?  Holy moly.  It was Teacher Appreciation week, and how did we celebrate?  Well, with food of course!  Here is the rundown of how this week worked:

Monday: First day of my experiment.  Potato bar at work. This actually was okay- I had the potato with cheese and tiny bits of sour cream and butter.  Now, I know that sour cream and butter could be suspect, but I went really light and crossed my fingers.

Tuesday: Fazoli's was served for lunch. This girl went back to her classroom and at the salad she brought from home.  The wafting smell of breadsticks was like torture.

Wednesday: Dilly bars from the cafeteria and sweet treats from STUCO.  I ate the Dilly Bar since DQ's webpage proclaims them gluten free, and took water from STUCO- no soda, and no chips.

Thursday: Donuts and Fruit courtesy of the PTA.  I got friendly with the fruit and bypassed the donut.  You wouldn't know this- but this is a BIG deal.  I LOVE donuts! Holy crud... but, it wasn't that hard.

Friday: Okay, so this one may sound silly- Texas Roadhouse dropped off about a million hot rolls at school.  Um, these are like flippin' kryptonite.  I faced my kryptonite and walked away from it.

So, I survived a tough five days!

Today, I went with my mom to get coffee- she wanted to get lunch while we were there- sadly, I didn't get anything.  The place was local and while they said I could probably eat the chicken salad on lettuce... well, without knowing the ingredients for sure, I didn't want to take their best guess.

This hasn't been as hard as I thought it was going to be.  I have found some amazing products that I really enjoy. Here are my recommendations from this week:

*Glutino Pretzel Sticks- super yummy, and went fabulously with banana.
*Pamela's Dark Chocolate Chunk Cookies- oh man!  170 calories for 2 cookies- this is high, but all cookies are in my opinion.  I was able to eat just one at a time.  (Also an accomplishment!)
*Gluten Free Cafe Pizza Crust Mix- this was a weird consistency after being mixed.  I used glass bakeware instead of a pizza pan.  It turned out pretty decent, but was too dense or something- the crust overwhelmed the flavor of my toppings!  I would still use it in a pinch though!

Gluten Free Since...

So, tomorrow is the day that I try living gluten free for 30 days.  Why on earth would I do that you may ask...
I haven't been diagnosed with celiac disease, and no, I am not using it as a diet.

A co-worker and I had a conversation where I mentioned in passing that my husband and I weren't having children as quickly as we had hoped.  His response was that his wife was only able to get pregnant when she went gluten-free.

Now, there has been some indication that there may be a problem elsewhere in the clockwork that produces babies, but without a firm diagnosis, I am willing to give up bread for babies.

Lazy Weekend

It has most definitely been a lazy weekend around here!  Goodness!

I had big plans for my break from work.  I wanted to clean out the kitchen cabinets, recover the office from its dump-like state, clean up the guest room, take down the holiday decorations... basically be a cleaning whirlwind!  The office is 95% of the way there, other than that, I don't think we can claim to have accomplished a lot, especially this weekend.

Friday night we reveled in the nothing that we had planned.  Saturday I went to the gym in the morning for a couple of hours and then we went to buy a new lawn tractor (excellent buys this time of year).  After that, yep, you got it, we did nothing.

Last night the dogs basically lost their minds and were nutso all night long.  This means that my sleep was interrupted at least once an hour by barking or jumping off the bed or whining to get back in bed or one of the many other odd behaviors that occurred throughout the night.  I woke suddenly this morning to find that it was 11am!  Holy crud!  Since waking I have managed to make a grocery list, but haven't gotten out of the house to actually buy anything!  My husband and puppy are currently napping together while my older dog lays against my legs, looking up at my husband and sighing when he starts to snore a little.

Nothing, a bunch of it, that is what we have done this weekend.

Tomorrow I head back to work, not knowing at all what to expect out of my day, hoping that somehow  my house will be cleaned by magical elves while I am out.

The Simple Things

Have you ever noticed how it is the simple things in life than can really make your day?
My birthday was in December and upon returning home one day that week, I found a gift on my front porch from my aunt who lives down the road.  When I opened it up, I found inside a snowman candle holder- one she had seen me admire at a craft show recently.  I was so excited!  I love this little guy so much!  He isn't super expensive, he can only sit out for a few months a year, but he gives me so much joy.  The light shining out of him casts great patterns on the table and walls, impacting all of the space around him with his glow.
Something so simple gives so much lasting joy!