Last year I got the news that three people I knew had cancer. I have known others in my life who have had cancer, but this was the first time I felt close to it.
First, my friend Jon Stegen. He was a college friend whom I hadn't talked to since college. When we were there though, he was someone I liked and always considered him a good friend even though we weren't best buds. He had a biting sense of humor, but was kind under it. Jon married his college sweetheart and they had two beautiful children. Then last year, around February if I recall correctly, he found out he had cancer in his appendix. Jon fought hard am his family fought beside him. My husband and I traveled across the state to attend a Trivia night fundraiser for Jon. It has to be one of the most heartwarming things I have ever seen. I do not exaggerate when I say hundreds of people who knew Jon were there to support him. My friends and I sat at a table together and had a great time reconnecting and celebrating life. At the end of the night Jon and his wife, Jess, came in to thank everyone. The feeling inside was tremendous as I hoped this family would have the chance they deserved to be together. Jon fought hard, but in the end, he left earth behind for something else. His amazing wife has since built a foundation in his honor.
In April came he second bout of bad news. My husband's mother had lung cancer. It had already advanced to stage 4, so the prognosis was gloomy. Though this was the case, Susie wasn't going to just let go. There was a lot of discussion about how long she should fight for herself versus fighting for the sake of the family. My sister-in-law moved home in the summer so that she could be with their mom. My husband prioritized seeing her weekly. We went over on Sundays to play games just as he and Susie had done when his grandmother was ill. Frequently, mahjong was the game of choice. If you haven't played, you should try it! (The real game, not Internet matching games!) Susie's sisters and other family came to visit, making the months full and busy. Susie an her husband John went on a cruise- one of their favorite past times. Each time Susie had a checkup the news was disheartening. Enlarged tumors, spreading,and so on. I watched my husband struggle with his mom's illness. I felt so helpless. I also felt on the outside as he and his sister comforted one another. I only say this because I wanted to be what he needed, but sometimes people just need someone who truly is in the same place they are. He was lucky to have his sister here for him. Thanksgiving was hard, as we visited Susie and she was awake for only a few minutes here or there. She looked absolutely tiny in her hospital bed in the living room. The next week Susie passed away. All the positivity I had tried to hold on to just drained away. My husband was close to his mother- she was the parent who raises him. She was the one who taught him how to be a good person. After Susie's funeral the family gathered for a night of games. We had a wonderful time together. We played mahjong, we ate copious amounts of food, and we celebrated Susie.
In August last year I met Rayleen. I was subbing for her off and on and met her just a few times. One day I went to her classroom to ask about a day she needed me and found her crying. I think she was embarrassed that I caught her at that very moment. She brushed it aside, saying little, but mentioned something about a doctor's call. The next week I was called to cover her class indefinitely because she would be out fighting cancer. Rayleen's cancer was also in the appendix. It struck me hard as I knew Jon was fighting the same thing. I met with her to talk about taking over her classroom, at the time thinking it would from October until December. Rayleen told me this was her second round with this cancer. She was determined to fight it again. I told her about Jon and my mother-in-law. Over the next several months I tried to check in on Rayleen periodically. I gave her updates on school and had kids email her and make cards. In December she decided she would have to stay out until at least the beginning of March, so I stayed on in her place, eventually staying through the end of the school year. Her journey has continued and she has had additional surgeries since then to try to rid her body of this disease.
So you see, even though I barely know Rayleen, her journey is important to me. Last year I had three people in my life who had cancer. Now I have one. Though I don't know her well and though I probably don't register in her mind at all, I pray for her to beat cancer. I hope as hard as I can that her husband and son don't lose her. I pray that her doctors are as hopeful and as prayerful as her family and friends. I pray that she is able to give others hope as they see her beat the odds.
